Tuesday, December 30, 2008

The godless heathen


Hi there! My name's Ian, and I'll be representing your friendly, neighborhood atheist/materialist point of view on tonight's flight. We'll be taking off in a few moments, but I thought I'd mention a few of the safety features of the RIMATARA blog that are available to you, our passengers, during whatever it is I wind up posting here.

To your immediate left and right, you'll find other points of view (probably including my own, if you look hard enough -- I suppose I'm a bit "out there." Ha! Ha!). These will come in handy if we should chance to encounter any tricky-subject-turbulence after takeoff. Below your seats, you'll find a "comments" section, which can be used as a life preserver in the unlikely event that I'm ever wrong.

There will be no meal service on tonight's flight (the economy has forced certain cutbacks in amenities), but our attendants will be around with a drink and snack service shortly after we reach our cruising altitude of 30,000 feet. Be aware that snacks may contain trace amounts of David Hume, Baruch Spinoza, and Richard Dawkins, and passengers with severe, insurmountable allergies to any of these thinkers are advised to avoid them. As for drinks, we have the choices of water and 12-year-old cask-aged bourbon.

Well, that's about it -- I hope you enjoy your flight, and remember our motto: "Beatings will continue until morale improves."


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